The Dylan Horror Picture Show
by Pugz
Summary: Yeah...read at your own risk.Includes Shounen-Ai Male/Male
1. Part 1

Do not own. All rights of Rocky Horror and Maximum Ride are to their respective owners; I'm just using them to warp your mind, and all other jokes also belong to their respective owners. Enjoy :)

Oh, and I know it would make more sense to have Dr. Hans Gunther-Hagen as Frank...but for this to really screw with your mind...it has to be Jeb. Because I'm cruel like that.

Jeb: Frank N. Furter

Dylan: Rocky Horror

Ter Bortch: Riff Raff

Marian Janssen/Director: Magenta

Brigid: Columbia

Flock: Themselves

* * *

The Dylan Horror Picture Show

Picture it, if you will: six bird kids, and one winged canine, flying through beautiful blue skies one minute and caught in a torrential downpour, sending us plummeting to what should have been our death, the next.

"Is everyone alright?" I look around my flock; they all nod miserably.

"Where are we, Max?" Iggy asks.

"I'm cold." Nudge whines. "Where are we going to find shelter? We can't sleep in the trees, can we? They wouldn't shelter us from the rain."

"I saw a house." Fang says. "It's probably just a ten minute walk from here."

I nod, but is the house safe? "Wouldn't hurt to check it out." I take Angel and Nudge's hands, Fang takes Iggy's and Gasman walks between us. It really isn't all that long before we come across a ominous looking castle, not a house – a _castle_, just as the lighting flashes over it, making it even creepier than before.

"Jinkies." Nudge mutters.

Total hides behind me. "This certainly looks like something out of a horror film."

"It's just a house!" Gazzy runs up to the front door and out of the rain. "How scary can it be?"

We join him on the porch and I nod to him to ring the doorbell, he loves ringing doorbells...I'm not sure why – we've never owned one. He pulls the strange looking cord; a crazed laugh startles us, a girlish high-pitched scream follows, then the words 'Get out. GET OUT!' in a throaty tone, and then finally a deep, evil 'Mwahahaha!' laugh ends it.

Yup, not the slightest bit scary. Not at all.

"Awesome." Iggy grins; he's still holding Fang's hand. "Can we get one of those?"

I'm about to tell him I'm rolling my eyes when the door creaks open and a familiar looking face peers around the door. "You rang?" The German accent sends a shiver down my spine.

I shake my head. "Nope, wrong house." I try to leave but another clap on thunder, followed by a flash of lighting, causes Nudge and Angel to cling to me. I can't move like this. "Then again..."

"Come inside." He gestures. Gazzy is first, followed by Fang and Iggy, the last clap of thunder I hear for the night encourages Nudge, Angel and Total inside. "You're just in time for the celebration."

"Celebration?" I look around. No other exit besides the front door; maybe there's a way out upstairs?

"Our Annual Transylvanian Convention."

"How nice..." I manage a tight smile and lean over to Fang. "Don't you think he looks kind of familiar?" I whisper. "Like Ter Bortch, hm?"

He shrugs. "He said this is a Transylvanian Convention; would he be here if he was Ter Bortch?"

"Do we have guest, Ter Bortch?" Another unwanted face slides down the stair banister; my so-called 'Mom' Marian Janssen. I look to Fang with a raised brow and he shrugs again. Bortch nods and she gives us a twisted grin. "Let's show them to the party!"

"I love parties!" Nudge jumps up and down on the spot with Angel.

Music kicks up from somewhere. Iggy tilts his head to the side to listen to it. "It's astounding, time is fleeting." Bortch begins. "Madness takes its toll."

No kidding.

"But listen closely."

"Not for very much longer." The Director jumps in.

"I've got to, keep control. I remember doing the Time Warp." He leads us from one side, the Director take our other side. "Drinking those moments when, the blackness would hit me."

They shove us through the door, both continuing. "And the void would be calling."

"Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!" Everyone in the room sings.

I suddenly hear the voice – but not in my head, it's clearly in the ballroom as the beat pauses. "It's just a jump to the left."

The beat picks up again; everyone in the room dances. "And a step to the riiiight!"

Another pause in the music. "You put your hands on your hips."

"You bring your knees in tiiight; but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insa-a-a-aaane! Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!"

Director and Bortch have another sing-a-long; Angel, Gazzy and Nudge are trying to follow the dance moves, Iggy is tapping his foot, Fang is giving away nothing but Total is howling along. I give him a kick.

"Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think, when a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink."

My jaw slackened. Was that Brigid in red suspenders, a corset, heels, a feather bower and fishnet stockings?

"He shook-a me up, he took me by surprise."

Yeah...that was Dr. Wonderful herself. I zone her out for the rest of the song; but clearly see Fang watching her every move. He catches me watching him and smirks. "I didn't know she was Transylvanian."

We barely have a minute to recover when a cage elevator drops down from the room behind us; the door slides open and our eyes go wide...except for Iggy who can't see, and Fang who just raises a brow. I've seen a lot of horrifying things in my life...but this really just tops the whole list; dressed in black suspenders, a corset, skin tight black shorts, fingerless gloves up to the elbow and heels – and let's not forget the black makeup with way too much white foundation...

Jeb.

And he's singing about being a Transylvanian Transvestite. I may need therapy.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen." He put his hands on his hips and sticks out his hip. "I'm so glad you could make it to this wonderful occasion!"

"Jeb?" Iggy's brow rises. "Why didn't anyone tell me Jeb was here?"

"Brigid is here too." Gazzy grins.

"Awesome."

"And the Director and Ter Bortch." I add.

"Oh. Not awesome."

I'm glad someone else is worried. "We're leaving!" I say, grabbed Angel and Gazzy by the arm.

"I cannot let you leave, Maximum."

I look back over my shoulder. "And why the hell not? You're insane!"

1"Because the King of the Potato People won't let me." He says evenly. "I begged him; I got down on my knees...and wept. He wants to keep you here. Keep you here for ten years."

Iggy sniggers. "Could we see him?"

"See who?"

Nudge looks puzzled. "The Potato King; not that's he real, we're jus-"

"Do you have a magic carpet?"

"Yeah." Gazzy giggles.

"So let me get this straight: you want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People...and you call me insane?"2 He turns back into his flamboyant alter ego. "Now you will come with me and witness my greatest achievement!" He ushers us all into the elevator. "I have discovered the secret to life itself!"

"Oh joy..." I mutter.

"_Keep and open mind, Max." _Angel says in my mind. _"This could be interesting."_

"_I'm not getting my hopes up, sweetie."_ We step out and somehow the Director and Bortch have beaten us up here, along with the other folks from the ballroom. There's more singing, which I manage to tune out, and watch the spectacle happen; Director and Bortch pull back a sheet to reveal a teenager – maybe the same age as me – in some weird green goo in a tank.

"Now." Jeb grins. "To bring him to life!" A few things happen during the process of this kid coming to life - lots of button pushing and lever throwing along with some lightning.

"How Frankenstein." Total scoffs. I see Fang explaining to Iggy what is happening and notice that they are _still_ holding hands. What the hell?

"I introduce to you..." Jeb's voice pulls my attention back to this freaky experiment. "Dylan!"

"Wow..." I stare at the hulky figure. He's tanned, muscular with blonde hair, turquoise eyes and brown wings; the gold short shorts are the only thing he's wearing. He's a little unsteady getting out of the tank.

"He's so cute..." Nudge drools and Angel gives me that 'told you so' look. The boys don't look impressed.

"Short shorts?" Iggy sniggers and yells. "Who likes short shorts!?"

"We like short shorts!" The room choruses.

There's another song. Why are they always singing? It's between Jeb and Dylan...how Jeb's going to make a 'man' out of him; Dylan lifts weights, flexes his muscles – sings a little two, and when they're done Jeb whisks him away into a room which looks like a chapel.

Yeah. I'm going to need _major_ therapy!

* * *

1-2: It's a bit from Red Dwarf, one of the best British comedies ever made; You tube W.O.O to see the clip. I'll be adding another Red Dwarf joke later :P.


	2. Chapter 2

Do not own. All rights reserved and all that.

Special Guest: Dr. Evert Scott (This will probably get me sued D:)

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS FIGGY, FYLAN, DIGGY, DIANG (DYLAN/IGGY/FANG), AND FEB/JIGGY. It's only Shounen-ai though xP.

You have been warned. Flamers will have crazy little sister, Chloe set upon them! D:

* * *

"Any one else scarred by that spectacle?" I rub my temples.

"Does this mean Jeb is gay?" Gazzy looks at me and I shrug.

Nudge gets that thoughtful look for a second. "But how can he be gay if he has you and Ari? Maybe Ari was made in a dish too – or maybe Jeb thought he was straight but then realised he is gay. Or-"

"Nudge." I sigh. "I really don't care." Angel then tugs on my sleeve. "What is it?"

"Where's Total?"

We all look around. He can't have gone far, the elevator is as we left it and there doesn't seem to any other way out. "Erm..."

"Time for bed, darlings!" The Director says, and she and Brigid escort us to separate rooms despite my complaints.

"This is too strange..." I look around the room and slowly make my way over to a chest; opening it to find chains, whips, pink fuzzy handcuffs and other assorted BDSM like toys. I slam it shut and leap to the door, surprised when it opens. "Well...I can take this chance to look for Total."

* * *

Fang always found it difficult to sleep in a strange room, and many rooms didn't come much stranger than this; a swing on the far end of the room, chains hanging from the walls and a chest full of assorted toys, they sent chills down his spine and images of Iggy flooded his mind.

Fang had realised he was gay a short while after he started dating Max, but there was always an inkling in the back of his mind; then, Iggy admitted his feelings for him on the Hawaiian beach. They tried dropping subtle hints to Max about their newfound relationship, then a not so subtle hint during a game of truth or dare – all thanks to Angel.

Max still couldn't take a hint.

The door opened and closed so quietly Fang barely heard it, and was surprised to find Iggy crawling into his bed. "How did you know I was in here?"

"I could hear you tossing and turning." Fang could hear the playful tone in the younger boy's voice. "Missing me?"

Fang smirked. "You know it."

Iggy lightly kissed his neck. "Missed you too." The kissed trailed down Fang's neck to his chest; Iggy flicked one of his nipples with his tongue before sucking on it and switching to the other one.

"Oh Iggy..." Fang groan as Iggy's lips danced across his stomach. He ran his fingers through the strawberry blonde hair – which suddenly came free from his head. "What the?" Fang looked down the figure toying with his elastic of his boxers.

"Hello Fang."

"JEB!?" Fang bolted upright and pressed himself against the headboard. "What the fuck!?"

"Oh, don't be scared, Fang dear. You weren't complaining earlier." Jeb moved in for a kiss and Fang shoved the wig in his face before bolting from the bed.

"I'm going to look for Iggy!" He snarled and slammed the door behind him.

"Look at it sleeping." Ter Bortch sneered with disgust at Dylan sleeping on his stomach across black, silk sheets with one leg chained to the bed.

* * *

"Disgusting monster." The Director nodded and handed a candlestick holder with five lit candles to him with a giggle. Ter Bortch took the candlestick holder and kicked the bed to wake Dylan. The boy woke with a start, wide eyes fixed on the lit candles; Ter Bortch thrust the candles in his face and Dylan leapt from the bed, the chain tugging at his ankle until it broke. He ran from the lab with the Director's and Ter Bortch's laugh echoing behind him. The Director pulled a lever beside her and turned to the monitor; Dylan had made it outside, running from the Erasers she had released.

* * *

Iggy was always a light sleeper, his finely tuned ears picked up almost every sound in the huge castle, so when the door to his room opened he instantly woke, his brow rising questionably at the footfalls.

"Iggy, are you awake?"

"Fang?" His brow creased in confusion; the footfalls didn't sound like Fang's.

"Who else would it be?" Fang placed his hand in Iggy's cheek and leaned in for a kiss. Iggy leaned back to avoid the lips.

"You're not Fang!" Iggy snarled. "Who are you?"

"Iggy..." The figure sighed.

"Jeb!? Where's Fang? What did you do to him?"

"I admit." Jeb sat on the edge of the bed and fingered the soft fabric. "I tried to seduce him – he saw through my disguise and went to look for you."

"I'll do the same!" Iggy swung his legs off the bed, storming to the door with ease; but finding Fang on his own would be difficult.

* * *

Fang opened the door of the elevator when it stopped in the lab; it was unlikely Iggy had made it up there on his own but it was worth a look. He stepped out slowly and studied the Lab, spotting a figure cowering in the tank. "Dylan?"

The boy peered over the side, fear evident in his eyes and Fang slowly made his way over to him. "What happened? Did Jeb do this?" Dylan shook his head. "Ter Bortch?" The boy whimpered and slowly stood, and Fang gasped at the wounds. He began tearing his shirt into strips and bandaged the scrapes and bite marks. Their eyes met and Dylan, as a thank you, lightly pressed his lips to Fang's, who felt his pants tighten around his groin. His hormones were still raging from earlier, and when Dylan pressed their lips together again, he found it impossible to say no.

_(AN: Cause boys are horny little buggers xD)_

Dylan pulled Fang up so he was perched on the edge of the tank as the kiss became heated; Fang ran one hand through the short blonde locks while the other roamed over the muscles. Dylan's tongue found its way into Fang's mouth and explored the moist cavern.

"Fang?"

The pair leapt apart and Fang's breath caught in his throat. "Iggy."

"What are you doing? I heard...Who's with you?"

"Dylan." Fang whispered, knowing Iggy would hear it. "I...There's no excuse Iggy, I'm-"

"Dylan? You said he looked hot, right?" Iggy smirked and calmly strolled over. "Muscled too?"

"Y-yeah. Ig, what are you getting at?" Fang watched as Iggy stopped by Dylan and slowly held his hand out until he found the well-toned chest, letting his fingers lightly brush across the muscles. Iggy then leaned in and licked Dylan's collar bone.

"That." He said, turning his head enough to give the impression that he was looking at Fang. "Is what I'm getting at. I can't let you have all the fun."

"Hit record! Hit record!" Brigid squealed and stuffed a handful of pop corn into her mouth. The Director pushed the button and sat back to watch the three boys in the lab.

"This is so hot!" She drooled and stole some pop corn from Brigid.

* * *

I've found Nudge, Angel, and Gazzy; we've banded together to find Total but so far we haven't had any luck. "We should check the lab." I suggest. "It's the only place left." I lead the way back to the elevator where we run into Jeb and Ter Bortch. "Fancy meeting you here." I sneer. "What's your rush?"

"Dylan is missing." Jeb snaps and shoves us all into the elevator with him and Bortch. When it stops and the doors open we see Iggy, Dylan and Fang sit up in the tank in surprise.

"Max." Fang's eyes grow wide. A scream, followed by 'IT'S RUINED' echoes around the castle – it sounds suspiciously like the Director and Brigid.

"Dylan!" Jeb looks horrified and Dylan cowers behind Fang and Iggy.

"Jeb." Bortch gestures to a monitor. "We have company."

"Hm. It's about time our guests were served dinner." Jeb smiles.

We're sat around the table with Jeb at the head, the Director and Bortch are setting the table and serving drinks when Brigid brings in a man in a wheelchair.

"James Patterson!" We, the flock, gasp.

"What are you doing here?" Nudge asks. "Why are you in a wheelchair?"

"A group of crazed fan girls with lovely, plump bewbs, tracked me down and broke my legs for writing The Final Warning." He explains. "But what lovely bewbs they had." He looks to Brigid and reaches for her chest – she bats the hand away and sits at the table. "As for what I'm doing here; I came to find you, my characters." He sets his eyes on Jeb.

"Dinner is served!" Jeb says before Patterson can continue.

He does anyway. "You are not of this world, you belong somewhere else entirely."

"I know you guys and gals love to eat hearty." Jeb pretends as though he didn't hear him as the meat is being served. "But I'm afraid Total was too small to provide seconds."

"Total?" Angel squeaks and we all leap up from the table in disgust.

"You do not belong here, Jeb!" Patterson shouts across the table. "This is just a world created by a crazed author much like myself!"

"I belong!" Jeb leaps to his feet. "Wherever I choose to be!" He lifts his arm where a penguin hand puppet, dressed in a black corset, sits. "They've all been naughty boys and girls, haven't they, Mr. Flibble?"

"Yes." The puppet says with Jeb's disguised voice.

"And what happens to naughty boys and girls who have been naughty, Mr. Flibble?"

"Daddy Jeb fries them alive with his Hex Vision."

"That's right, Mr. Flibble." Jeb's eyes glow.

"Grab Patterson and run!" I order. Fang grabs him and wheels him up a ramp leading to the stairs, followed by Iggy, Gazzy then Nudge and myself.

"Angel!" Nudge looks back.

"Total!" Angel weeps with the carving knife in hand. "Total!" She plunges the knife into her chest.

"ANGEL!" Nudge screams.

"Keep moving!" I grab her arm and pull her along just as a Hex Vision ray flies past me. Nudge trips on the carpet, her hand slips from mine, and a Hex Vision ray hits her; my eyes grow wide but my need to stay alive keeps me moving.

"It's a dead end!" I hear as I catch up.

"The wall will give way." Patterson says. "Trust me!" So they do and the wall breaks down, leading back into the lab. The Director is waiting for us there; she pulls a lever and we're stuck to the floor.

"Any last words." Jeb says and moves his hand so the puppet studies each of us.

"I love Iggy!" Fang says.

"I love you too, Fang!"

"I love both of them!" Dylan wails. How about that for first words?

"Throw the lever!" Mr. Flibble says and all three are turned to stone.

There's suddenly an ungodly smell in the room. "That was me." Gazzy grins and he's next.

"I like young girls with big bewbs!" Patterson follows.

"Stop!" Brigid storms in. "No more! I can't take this craziness anymore!" She's stone and before I can get a word out...my world goes black.

* * *

"Jeb." The Director approached him with Ter Bortch by her side. "We want to go back to planet Transsexual in the Transylvanian galaxy."

Jeb looked between them. "No! Never! This is where we belong now!"

* * *

I feel like me again, only...slightly less clothed; looking at the remainder of my flock, and Patterson, I see we're all dressed in corsets and fishnet stockings. We're back in the room where everyone was dancing before, it's empty except for us and Jeb, who's sat in a chair. "What are you going to do with us?" I ask with a sneer.

"I'm going to train you...train you all to be my obedient, lovable followers." He smiles.

"That's enough." Ter Bortch enters with the Director; he has Mr. Flibble on his hand. They all have a weird silver costume on; Bortch and Flibble have matching one-piece suits while the Director has a silver dress on and her hair twisted upwards in some weird style.

"You've failed the mission, Jeb." The Director says.

"Mr. Flibble's very cross with you, Jeb." Bortch says. "This is why he has joined us. What shall we do with him Mr. Flibble?" He raises the puppet to his ear and the mouth moves; Bortch makes a shocked face. "We couldn't possibly do that...who would clean up the mess?"

Mr. Flibble's eyes glow and the Hex Vision ray shoots towards Jeb; he pulls out a mirror and the ray rebounds, frying Brigid instead.

"Very clever, Jeb." The Director praises him lightly. "But that will only work once!"

They're right, the last ray has scorched the mirror and when Mr. Flibble fires again it breaks and hits Jeb in the chest – killing him instantly.

"We shall now release you." Ter Bortch says to us.

"Whoa, cool!" Gazzy suddenly says and he floats over to the pair.

"But, in return we will take the boy back to our home planet." The Director finishes.

"No!" I scream. "You let us all go!"

"But Max!" Gazzy whines. "I'll get to go to another planet!"

"I...But..." I sigh. "Keep him."They'll regret it when he lets a few rip anyway. I take Patterson and wheel him outside with the others following; the entire castle then takes off into space.

* * *

I haven't heard from Gazzy since then, I assume he's enjoying life as a transsexual transvestite or they've killed him because they can't stand the farting. Fang, Iggy and Dylan are shacked up on a desert island somewhere, like Fang has always wanted; and Mr. Patterson went back to writing crappy books for teenagers. I'm writing this from a mental institution because no one believes me when I tell them what happened. It's not surprising really, would you believe it?

* * *

Mr. Flibble belongs to Red Dwarf, as does some of the dialog involved with him, and Mr. Patterson is not a pervy old man who feels up young teenage girls or is obsessed with bewbs. However, his last couple of books for teenagers have been crap.


End file.
